Divorce-sary?

Does anyone else celebrate the "anniversary" of their divorce? Or am I just really twisted?

Today is the 8th anniversary of my divorce. I remember that day, like it happened in last night's dream. LOL! It was a bittersweet day, and like everything else in my life, didn't go like I thought it would.

I had only been in REAL court once before, and I was only 12 or 13 at the time. I had to testify against this asshole gang member who had broken into our apartment with the help of a "friend" of ours, and stole our tv. We didn't have much in the way of valuables, but that little tv was the best tv I have ever had. I was scared that morning in court but never thought about NOT testifying. In later years, when I would be back in the "hood", and once when I ran into the asshole gang member, I remember being terrified and wondered if he'd remember it was me who had put him away. Luckily he didn't and I stayed away from that area of San Jose from then on.

So anyhow, Tracie took off work to go with me to court for my divorce. Damon was supposed to go, but had gotten transferred to Arkansas just 2 weeks earlier. It was kinda weird and went very fast, and when I walked out of the courthouse, I was like, "That's it? I'm free?! Well, shit howdy, let's party!" Well, actually I did say that, but it was more to mask the emptiness I felt in knowing I couldn't go back and it was all official now. I felt like a failure. And I was angry with Damon for not trying to work it out.

At that particular time, when I still had physical custody of the boys, Damon and I were still on pretty good speaking terms. We had even planned a special 2-person party. We had by chance gotten married on Dee and Pete's 20th wedding anniversary and they had been given this bottle of champagne as a gift. They in turn passed it onto us, to save until OUR 20th anniversary. When we were going thru the whole "dividing up the crap" we were up in arms about what to do with it, not wanting to throw it out or give it away. So we decided that on the day of our divorce, we would get drunk and toast each other for all we had given each other and all we were losing.

Well he DID move away, with Wanda and the boys following a few months later, which was the first time I'd seen him since before the divorce. Obviously not a good time to get together, so it was just set aside, for another time. That bottle has sentimental value, which is really stupid, but I can't see drinking it with anyone else, and haven't given it away. I hope that with time, he and I will again become friends, enough to NOT want to kill each other, and maybe when the boys get married or graduate college or whatever, we can celebrate then. Who the hell knows?

So, anyhow, I don't totally HATE my ex, but there are times I DO. My ex was my "first" and he taught me much about life. He gave me two great boys, and some pretty good years. But he lied to me for most of our marriage, and that, unfortunately was a big part of our undoing. Something I still am bothered by, but don't bother to waste my time on fretting over.

Instead, I celebrate.
A life of freedom to grow.
A world of open thoughts withOUT being narrow minded.
A chance to find someone who will love me for me, without restrictions.
And I celebrate that he got "his." (Sorry, can't elaborate on that, but it is the best punch line to ANY divorce!)

Here's to another year without him!!!

BTW....is there another term other than anniversary, to describe a divorce anniversary?
Divorce-sary?