Helpful Or Helpless?

I've been journalling privately, as I'm still not sure this is the place to air some very dirty laundry, partly because I do worry about the reprecussions to me and my family, but also because it's very complicated and could become messy to explain. I'm waiting to see where current events take us on this ride, but I thank you all for your support and input while trying to help me. You're the best.

Now onto something new:

There is a little old lady who lives across the street from me and has been there since before we moved in 7 years ago. Before this spring, I'd never spoken to her and always wondered about her, as she would often stand around "spying" on the neighborhood. Rarely I would see a car in her drive-way, a son or grandson perhaps coming to assist her. And ohmygosh, does this woman have a lot of cats around her house.

So anyhow, this spring while Glenn's mom was visiting, we finally had our first contact with the LOL (little old lady). I came home from work one day and was told she had been watching my daughter play at the fire station and didn't feel it was safe so she called my daughter across a rather busy little street to tell Lil' Miss to go home because I was at work and she shouldn't be playing at the fire station. (This fire station has a GREAT BIG parking lot and SUPER HUGE field behind it, used for Care-Flight Helicopters to land and all of it is directly and clearly visible from my front windows.) Glenn and grandma had been watching Lil' Miss while inside, when suddenly they noticed she was GONE! They freaked out and headed out the door to look for her, just as she was coming towards our driveway, crying. They were so upset, but neither wanted to argue with LOL because while they had been watching her, it wasn't 100% and the fact that Lil' Miss walked out of sight, scared them.

Well I'm furious at this woman, a stranger, for further endangering my child and for being so bold as to tell her what to do without first coming to talk to one of the adults in charge of Lil' Miss, so I storm over to her door ready to chew her out. But I had a change of heart while waiting for her to finally answer the door, and instead asked if she had a problem with my daughter. This frail little lady was almost in tears as she explained why she did what she did. I felt grateful that someone was keeping an extra eye out for my child and thanked her for that, but also explained that by calling her across the street, out of safety's view and across a street where people frequently speed by, she had further put my baby in danger and asked her to please come knock on my door next time and let me know instead of approaching my daughter directly. She said she would and asked that I come to visit her again.

Fast forward 3 months to July. When Lil' Miss was out at the fire station again, riding her scooter and minding her own business as I stood watching her from the cool insides of my front window. A man suddenly appeared, seemingly nervous and pacing not too terribly far from my daughter. Not too close, but close enough to give me the willies. I asked my oldest son to go ride with her to make sure no one approached or hurt her. Before he could make it out the door, Lil' Miss suddenly darts across the street without really looking for traffic, as she's been taught to do and I freak, rushing out the door! Luckily there wasn't any cars, but her carelessness needed addressing immediately. As I begin to ask her why she did that, she said, "that old woman was talking to me again and trying to get me to come over to her house, so I just shook my head NO and came to tell you. I didn't talk to her mom." "Oh, ok, well that's very good of you. However, next time WATCH for cars before crossing the street. If you want to still ride, go ahead and go back over there with Chad." "OK." And off they went. With the strange man still lurking about, but more away from where they were. Then LOL comes walking across the street, in her house coat, and stops my son in the middle of the street to talk! You could see Chad slowly easing his way out of the street, with LOL moving towards him as he was listening and "yes, ma'aming" her every comment. Finally he headed home and said LOL wanted to talk to me.

Oh great. Ok, what does she want? So I walk out to the driveway, meeting her half way and she begins to tell me about "that damn n*gg*r watching" my daughter and that "it wasn't safe for her to be over there alone." Folks, I am not racist and do not put up with stupid-assed people who are. Hello, my kids are multi-racial, and I'm very protective of them being treated with disrespect in any form. I would have "gladly" stood there and listened to whatever she said for as long as it took, but when she started off with a racial slur, I lost my niceness and went off on her. (Granted, the guy did seem suspicious, but it was his actions, not his color that gave me that feeling.) "Well, you know what? You're NO BETTER than he is, when you try to call my daughter across the street, which I've asked you before not to do. Look at my front window! Do you see my blinds pulled all the way up? That's because I was standing right there, watching every move they made. She was fine playing over there, and her brother was on his way to join her. I don't appreciate you talking to my daughter without my knowledge, let alone trying to get her to come to you, and would like you not to do that again!" And as she tried to speak, I turned and walked back inside, closing the door on that conversation. I was so irritated by her blatant racism and disregard to our previous conversation about my child. I haven't talked to her since.

Until yesterday. I'm home alone in the middle of the day, watching a little tv as I clip my coupons, and I see her roaming the streets in her nightgown. She walked over to the fire station and disappeared out of sight. Then my dogs start to bark and I hear her knock on my door. Before I can get the door open she's already walking away. I just stood there, confused and wondering what she wanted so I called out to her. "Did you need something?" She stops and turns around, looking very afraid and comes back towards me, saying that she turned on her stove and can't get it to go off and now she's afraid something's going to happen and wanted someone to help her look at how to turn it off. "Sure, let me get my shoes on and I'll come look at it for you." She proceeds to tell me that she just moved into this house yesterday and is unfamiliar with how everything works and how at 84 years old and she's not always there mentally. (Really, now? You don't say?) So I walk over and wait as she fumbles to get the door unlocked. As the door opens you can hear a low buzzing coming from the kitchen. Turns out she has one of those older style stoves with a twisty timer on it, which is very touchy and easily knocked out of it's "OFF" position. I explain this to her and she gives me a big hug and thanks me for helping her. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could help," I say as I walk out the door.

I noticed that her house is very well kept with lots of nice little knick-knacks all over and very clean looking, but that there is a strong cat litter smell, even though the litter box in the kitchen is quite clean. She also seems to have forgotten that she's lived there longer than I've been in the neighborhood, and that her 87 year old sister lives right next door to her, and that neither of them hardly ever leave. I felt sorry for her and worried that she probably goes through episodes of this everyday. So while I do not like her ways, I feel like she needs someone to watch out for her, the way she's looked out for my daughter. And for now on I will make an effort to check in on her and keep my eye out for anything unusual.

Suddenly, I'm a lot less irritated by this woman and hope she'll be ok.

In other news: Lil' Miss will be home tonight from her visit with Grandma and Pa. I'm really excited to see her and give her big hugs, while listening to all that she's experienced. Hope you all are having a good week.